http://lonelycitylights.tumblr.com</p>

lj, tumblr, lj, tumblr, lj?
Bye bye!

my dear lovely brother, please stop tickling me.

You appear to others around you as a person who is simply 'laid back'. From time to time you shelve your ambitions and forgo the desire for prestige and recognition and you are often considered as mentally lazy. You have the ability and you are the first to know this, but you prefer to take things easy and indulge your longing for comfort and security.</p>

The way things are at this time is causing you considerable stress and anxiety. Your friends and acquaintances consider you to be - to say the least - difficult and unapproachable. Now it is because of this that you need to find some sort of solution. By doing nothing and waiting for matters to right themselves will only make things worse, but don't rush into making hasty decisions - make haste slowly.

You are very demanding - and insisting on total involvement but you do not reciprocate with the same depth of feeling. However, it could well be that maybe an unprecedented surprise is awaiting you in the near future. For just as one whilst paddling in the sea, could flounder into a whirlpool, so you may be drawn into a loving situation that has high emotional demands - and you could well respond with a depth of emotion that you never even dreamed that you possessed.

You are experiencing considerable stress which is essentially the result of on going rejection and hostility. You are in the unpleasant position where offers of trust, affection and understanding are being withheld and you are being treaded with a degrading lack of consideration. You feel that you are being denied the appreciation that you deserve, which is essential to your well-being and self-esteem, but you have to face up to the situation because as matters stand at this time there is little that you can do about it - you feel that you are getting nowhere and the continuous struggle is a lonely one: all difficulties and no encouragement. Whatever you try to say or do is met with continuous hostility and no matter how much you protest you are consistently misunderstood. You need to escape from the situation but you are so perplexed that you cannot find the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.

You really would like to be completely uninhibited - to let your hair down - but you are held back by your sense of logic and rationalilty, since you realise that by simple stupidity you could lose everything - whatever that may be.

I think this test is so accurate that it starts to scare even me. How does Paul Goldin (is this his name?) even knows so much about me just by the 8 colours i choose man?

Yes. I do know how much i'm shit to all of you but do you have to rub it in my face. You people can have moods and everything. When the hell do i get to be angry?

When you're angry you take it out on me, who am i supposed to vent my anger at?


The person in  the mirror?


Seriously i think i'm pmsing. Ignore me. WTF to all this, i have had enough man.

just got back from camp! er actually not just, i got back at 12nn but what was i doing? com, 8days, tv, com, tv and now com. WTF man. and not to mention there's cello lesson in like, 2 days time. ahhhh. time doesn't like me. so today is the 11th day of the holidays. sucks like sh*t man :/ ok i think putting that asterisk there is even more crude then just typing shit. but whatever.

i'm downloading itunes now? i don't even know why man. it's just limewire hasn't been working well these days.. but right after the download is complete i'm going to practise. promise :x

eeyers nevermind.

Mood swings are really weird things. How can you  feel so different in a splitsecond?
One second up high in the sky, the other rock bottom under the ground. Not feeling great now.

Really shitty and i just keep getting angry at the wrong people. Maybe i should just go sleep cuz then i won't be able to be angry. Lately thats what i've been doing.

Sad then sleep. Kinda like an ostrich man. >:(
Overall not a good day.

I'm currently playing that miss kittin 3eme sexe song on repeat now. Haha i have no idea what language it's written in or what it's about but something about the tune makes me like it. And also our house by madness. They're getting really addictive and something about the fact that these bands/songs aren't heard everywhere like Britney Spears is makes it even more attractive.
Sure, if you seek amy and others are nice songs anyday but sweet, sensual and maybe sometimes a little morose songs are better for a quiet day at home and to drown in your own loneliness and believe that you're in your own world, with the most beautiful things on earth.

But anyway, i'm crapping alot today as well.

A part of me dreads camp, kinda. Because there's nothing much to do during camp and i srsly need to practise my cello for zhao and i'm not doing that. Another part of me looks forward to it. Cuz i mean, how much can you hate about a day and a half packed with games and just pure fun activities with no practising whatsoever. And there's movies at night too HAHA :]

Suddenly, i remember i have to make Geog notes cuz i don't understand anything river-ish and i'm just like procrastinating every single effing day, looking at beautiful people and clothes on nymag and style.com and watching youtube whenever i'm bored of clicking through the photos. Then watching hk dramas on tv. Read devil wears prada for like the 495820954802nd time. Then take naps. Eat. Practise for like 5 minutes then continue using the computer. Playing games. I just feel like damn guilty but nothing can be done to stop me from doing all these brainless, fun stuff. I need to change but there's no motivation to change.

Guess i don't work w/o pressure and that's maybe why school's a better choice for me even though i hate going to school and having truckloads of tests and hw, but at least i'm functioning and not just having fun. I swear my brain has gone smaller and it wasn't that big to begin with.
A cup of iced lemon tea and yeah, i'm happy.

STRING CAMP
tues~wed
hope its fun lol nothing to blog ha. ha. ha. ha. ha. ha. ha. ha. so boreddd.

do you know that TODAY is the 8th day of the holidays? 
do you know that it's already going to over OH NO.
i kinda dread school yknow. but i still can't wait for hong kong. the two ends WON'T MEET.

ok whatever i'm crapppping now.

Don't really blog anymore. I guess when there's so much to do on the net. The last thing you think of is blogging. But anyway: I WANT A BLACKBERRY and anyway i'm going out with BABY G tmr. Orchard. Oh god i think i'm bored of that place already :/ But oh well, anything for clothes right?

HK HERE I COMEEEEEE.

you used to look so much better,
now you just look weak and zombie-ish :(